Issue Number 25

November 2010

A SENIOR MOMENT.

By Mike Stanley Armourer

It was sudden. It was unexpected. It was overpowering. It happened in the canned meat, canned fish, condiments and cooking-oil aisle at ASDA.

I was dutifully pushing the trolley, following behind my wife, when over the Public Address system came the smooth sweet soulful sound of the late great Jim Reeves singing:

“He'll have to Go.”
  • Put your sweet lips a little closer to the phone
  • let's pretend that we’re together all alone
  • I'll tell the guy to turn the jukebox way down low
  • and you can tell the friend you're with he'll have to go.
© Beechwood Music Corporation

Instantly I was transported to another place in another time. Gone was the 70+, trolley pushing, bus pass carrying granddad in a Cardiff supermarket, instead I was a 20 year old airman, full of vim and vigour, supping Amstel beer in the Keegalpalais in Herleen whilst eyeing up the tasty ‘Cloggie’ tottie on display. I could taste the beer, smell the perfume and the ciggie smoke; it was that real. Jim Reeves on the jukebox and me on the pull. Just as suddenly I was whisked back to the present; a harsh grating Valley accented voice broke in over the mellifluous voice of Jim. “A colleague is required at checkout number 3, customer waiting, thank yew.” Jim resumed but the moment had gone. It was probably just as well as my wife was looking at me quizzically; “You didn't hear a word I said, you were miles away.”

She was right on both counts. She repeated her question, “Do you want it in oil or brine?” as she held up a tin of tuna (buy two get one free). I thought of replying “Do they do it in Amstel?” but instead I said “Which ever one you like love.” 47 years of marriage has at least given me some sense!