Issue Number 20

August 2009

The Further Trials and Tribulations of Alan England.

Back to UK and Reality.

Leaving 152 Squadron and the Trucial Oman in a warm November 1967 I was posted to 267 Squadron at RAF Benson to fly on the Armstrong Whitworth Argosy, known to some as’ The Clockwork Mouse ‘, ‘The Whistling Wheel Barrow’ and ‘ The Whistling Tit.

However, on arrival at RAF Benson I discovered that my Operational Conversion Course (OCC) at RAF Thorney Island did not commence until the following year, so I was despatched to the outward-bound school at Aberdovey, Wales in the middle of winter! Pastimes included orienteering in the winter snow and sailing in the sea at Barmouth!

I spent a pleasant five months in the summer of1968 completing my OCC at RAF Thorney Island, with its quaint ‘open hangers’ courtesy of the Luftwaffe. However we did our night flying at RAF El Adem, as we did not wish to upset the local population. Unfortunately we must have upset Colonel Ghadafi for soon after we had to depart from Libya!

After completion of my OCC it was back to RAF Benson. The station being the home of the Queens Flight meant that ‘bullshit reigned supreme’ and even aircrew had to white wash paving stones, yes it brought back nostalgic memories of Halton! The operational aspect of life was more pleasant flying, and included low-level trips around the UK, dropping army parachutists at Weston on the Green, {occasionally we had to do the extra circuit when one hadn’t landed properly and was being ‘scraped off the runway’!} We also dropped the Red Devils, RAF parachute display team; they always ignored my instructions as when to jump, still they were entitled to, as it was their lives at stake!

The Argosy had a very limited performance thanks to its underpowered RR Dart engines. It had been fitted with a heavy reinforced floor to carry the army Saracen Armoured car, which were later modified by the army and would not then fit the Argosy! Of course removal of the floor was expensive so they remained fitted. This meant restricted range and payload, plus not being able to operate at turbo prop altitude, resulting in us having the perfect aircrew transport. As a result we did the ‘Kipper Runs’ to RAF Macrahanish and the ‘Xmas Special’ to RAF Akrotiri to load up with citrus fruit, demi johns of sherry and brandy. We did frequent trips to Germany, and trips around Europe, carrying the baggage for the ’’Red Arrows”.

We also did the odd exercises with the army and I well remember one, which lasted over a week in the Mediterranean .I was at RAF Luqa sharing crew coach on another crew and having to leave my bags on board…. FATAL. The golden rule is never lose sight of your bags! Yes you guessed it; my bags went on the other aircraft! Fortunately both aircraft were bound for RAF Akrotiri.

Another trip I remember was to Trondheim with a stop over at Oslo, where it was so cold we had to start the aircraft engines in the hanger! However, my best trip was our Caribbean Trainer, with visits to Grand Cayman Islands, Bahamas and Bermuda. Due to the’ superb’ performance we went via Iceland, Goose Bay, Andrews Air Force base and the Azores.

I was also fortunate in being able to ski, courtesy of the RAF. For I had two fortnight ski trips in Norway flights by Argosy to Stavanger, then by train to Geilo. Yes life was good, if you made most of the opportunities the RAF offered.

The only sad note of my tour was that we lost two aircraft, one from 114 Squadron with complete loss of life, at RAF El Adem when the aircraft hit a water tank during a low level beat up of the airfield. The other at RAF Benson when there was a slight disagreement between the instructor and student on who had control when landing. The end result was the aircraft ended up on its back short of the runway with the crew walking away unscathed!