Issue Number 10

February 2007

Mr Carter

by Mike Stanley

Of course he was known by another name, ' Carter the Farter' - the famed and feared Wing Warrant Officer of No 2 Apprentice Wing. He and Mr. Rich, his opposite number in No 1 Apprentice Wing, had an ongoing competition as to who could put more apprentices, of the others' Wing, on extra Jankers when either was Orderly Officer.

He was just as ruthless to us in 2 Wing. His practice was to prowl up and down behind the rear ranks of the squadrons when the Wing was on parade, especially at a Wing Colour Hoisting. Belching and breaking wind (hence his name, not just because of the rhyme) and muttering when he had done so, " Fall out the officers!" or "Fall in the Gale and Crash crew!" This would of course cause some to snigger or chuckle. Then he would pounce! Sideling up behind an unfortunate his eye had lighted on he would hiss sibilantly in their ear " Don't you laugh on my parade or I'll stick my knob up your A*se…… My silver one!" brandishing his silver topped swagger stick under the nose of his victim. Naturally this was too much for most to bear and great guffaws of laughter would ensue. Mr. Carter would then gleefully take the names of all those who had transgressed and put them on Change of Station Order. Then off he would stroll, whistling, having accomplished a good mornings' work.

In this more liberal, PC ridden (and I don't mean computers) and softer era such action would have him dragged up in front of The European Court of Human Rights. Those things had not then been invented;

' Rights ', in that harsher time, were merely the opposite of 'lefts'. We took the randomness and arbitrariness of the punishments meted out as part of our training, ' Character Building', as it was known.

I'm sure Mr. Carter was not just being vindictive in his actions (?) He was instilling a valuable life skill into us; Self Discipline.

To paraphrase that Exceedingly Good Mr. Kipling;

If you can keep your head When those around you are laughing theirs off

And getting put on Change of Station Order

Then you will do all right, my son, in this man's Royal Air Works

And Mr. K is absolutely right:

Self control; concentration; single mindedness; attention to detail and not being put off one's stroke by outside influences are vital qualities needed by those following a career in aircraft engineering, or indeed in any career.

So those of you who had the misfortune to fall into Mr. Carter's entrapment can now belatedly thank him for his input into making you the first class engineers that you became, might I also add, into the first class men you have become?

I bet you didn't laugh the next time he came around belching, and breaking wind?

In my own case I thank him for giving the Stanley Family the saying, used whenever the opportunity arises;……………………"Fall out the officers!"